Globally, we are going through some challenging times; it often feels that there isn’t much space for joy and laughter. These external pressures can heavily impact our relationships, so it’s more important than ever for our mental health and well-being to focus more on laughter and how it can help us. As a relationship therapist based in West Hampstead, clients often arrive wondering what happens in couples counselling. Many carry stress and deep emotional pain, and the thought of opening up to a stranger can add to their tension. For this reason, the counselling room is often seen as a serious space, but can laughter have a role? Read on to find out more.
What Happens in Couples Counselling? The Surprising Role of Laughter!
I have found that gently introducing humour to counselling sessions at my West Hampstead practice can help loosen us all up and soften the discomfort and shame that clients can bring with them.
When Laughter Hinders Healing
While laughter usually positively impacts counselling sessions, it can occasionally hinder progress.
- When used as a defence mechanism: Some clients use humour to hide fears, anxiety, or shame about what the session might bring up or uncertainty around how their partner will show up.
- Avoiding deeper emotions: Laughter can be a shield against vulnerability and a distraction from what might be going on in a relationship. In these circumstances, humour can sidetrack meaningful progress.
The Power of Laughter in the Counselling Room
However, in most cases, laughter can be very powerful in counselling sessions. Laughter is more than just a reaction to something funny—it has profound physical, psychological, and emotional benefits that can strengthen relationships, improve communication, and enhance overall well-being. Whether shared in everyday life or within a counselling setting, laughter plays a vital role in reducing stress, promoting connection, and improving mood.
The Physical Benefits of Laughter
- Reduces Stress and Tension – Laughter lowers cortisol levels, the hormone responsible for stress.
- Releases Feel-Good Chemicals – Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin, the brain’s natural mood boosters.
- Brings a Smile—Smiling can help create a sense of lightness and warmth, fostering a more optimistic outlook in daily life.
Psychological and Social Benefits of Laughter
- Strengthens Emotional Connection—Shared laughter creates bonding moments between individuals, reinforcing trust and intimacy in relationships. Couples often tell me that part of their initial attraction was humour. They tell me how they spent their early dating years, laughing with each other, sharing jokes, and appreciating the impact of their humour on each other.
- Boosts Mood and Reduces Anxiety—Laughter helps to break negative thought patterns by shifting focus away from worries and towards something light-hearted and joyful.
- Improves Communication in Relationships— Humour can effectively diffuse conflict, soften difficult conversations, and foster open, non-defensive dialogue. At the end of a challenging session, when a partner can turn to the other and make a joke, this makes me smile, as it highlights the strength in some couples who use laughter to reconnect and be emotionally close again.
- Brings Lightness and Emotional Relief – Laughter acts as a reset button, releasing pent-up emotions and helping people process challenges with greater ease and perspective.
Recognising Healthy vs. Defensive Laughter
Sometimes, it’s helpful to discuss the type of humour a client uses and its impact on a partner. My role is to help couples identify whether laughter promotes connection or pushes a partner away.
Revitalising Relationships by Recognising the need for Laughter
Couples often tell me that laughter, which was such an essential part of their attraction, has all but disappeared after many years. There is a bereft feeling of loss as it is replaced by coldness and resentment. Sharing the sadness at the loss of their laughter helps restore an essential part of a couple’s intimacy.
Mark Twain once said, ‘Laughter is the greatest weapon we have, and we, as humans, use it the least’.
So, notice and be grateful for moments of natural laughter in your relationship and seek opportunities to laugh together more.
If you have ever wondered what happens in Couples Counselling, rest assured that laughter is powerful in the therapy room when used with intention. A good counsellor will help you recognise your humour’s impact on your partner and relationship, enabling you to reconnect, revitalise your relationship and restore joy.
Let's work together if you want to rediscover laughter in your relationship. You can contact me HERE. I offer appointments from my private practice in West Hampstead or virtually via Zoom.