Family fallouts affecting relationships are far more common than people think. A recent high-profile family may have highlighted this, but behind closed doors, many parents quietly struggle with similar issues. As a relationship counsellor working in North London, I have helped couples navigate the shock and sadness that can follow a breakdown in contact with an adult child or other family member.
When a relationship at the heart of a family fractures, it can have devastating effects. It can seep into daily conversations and routines, affecting the emotional bond between partners, often in ways that feel hard to manage.
When Parents React Differently to the Same Situation
One of the most challenging aspects for couples is that they may respond very differently to a falling out with a grown child. One parent might feel deep grief and guilt, replaying conversations and wondering what went wrong. The other may feel anger, confusion, or a strong urge to draw boundaries and move forward.
These different responses can leave a couple feeling out of step with one another. What begins as shared concern can quietly turn into tension if one partner feels the other is minimising the pain or holding on to false hope. These differences can create distance if they remain unspoken.
The Strain of Staying United as a Couple
Family fallouts can place couples under pressure to present a united front, especially when decisions need to be made about contact, communication, or next steps. Parents may disagree about whether to reach out, wait, apologise, or hold firm. This situation can also reopen old differences about parenting styles and values that a couple thought were long resolved as children have grown up.
At the same time, couples often feel a strong sense of shared loss. The absence of a child, no matter their age, from family life can change how parents experience milestones, holidays, and everyday moments. If this grief is not acknowledged together, partners can end up carrying their pain alone, which can quietly erode closeness over time.
When a Fallout Affects the Family Unit
If there are other children or dependents in the family, the situation can be even more challenging. Parents might find themselves trying to comfort siblings or answer their difficult questions. They may also need to manage worries about taking sides. Agreeing on what to say and how much to share is not always straightforward.
This responsibility can leave couples feeling exhausted or confused, particularly when they are trying to address their own feelings as partners. The focus often shifts to holding the family together, while the couple's relationship slips into the background.
Finding Support During a Difficult Time
Family fallouts affecting relationships can feel isolating and overwhelming. Being able to talk openly about the impact on your relationship can help couples feel less alone and more connected as they navigate a distressing situation together.
If you and your partner are finding that a family situation is placing strain on your relationship, couples counselling can offer a calm space to talk things through. Whether you are based in North London or looking for online sessions, support is available. If you would like to explore how relationship counselling might help you at this time, please do get in touch here.